The week really did me in and at the end of yesterday I was feeling desperately in need of some time to myself, so I asked Mark if he would kid wrangle on his own for a couple of hours while I went out and wandered around shops. He very kindly agreed, but instead of a couple of hours, it turned a whole day – Nicky Day.
It started at 5am when Leila woke and I just couldn’t get out of bed. Mark got up to see to The Little Princess and he’s been doing so ever since.
I got up quite late and mooched and took my time reading the paper. When I eventually went out I ended up being gone for more than three hours, rather than the couple I had planned. Mark, Finn and Leila were nowhere to be seen when I got home. They’re still out. I suspect they’ve gone to the park.
I didn’t go anywhere exciting on my outing – just into Werribee and then to the Plaza. My objective was just wanted to go somewhere By Myself. Just Me. And it was nice. Crowds weren’t an issue because I didn’t have to negotiate them with another person, a toddler and a pram. The ambient noise didn’t bother me because I didn’t have to talk to anyone. I could tune out and listen to my tinnitus and it didn’t matter at all (it’s also a very effective way to avoid pushing sales assistants).
I browsed and shopped a little. I bought a new pair of runners, a linen shirt and a vest, but was otherwise rather underwhelmed by what I saw in the stores, which is a very good thing. I really don’t need any new clothes for this winter and, after looking through the shops, I don’t really want any either. There were a couple of things I liked, but I decided that if they’re still on my mind next weekend I’ll go back, otherwise I don’t really want them enough.
The time I spent out today is the first time I’ve been completely on my own in the last 7 and a half weeks. Being with a small baby isn’t like being with another adult, but it’s not like being completely on your own either. You have another person to consider and factor into everything you do. The freedom to move without having to think about someone else is probably the major thing I miss about my pre-kid life and having a little piece of it back today was priceless.
